Playlist: Penny Surfing On PCH
You might be asking yourself: what the hell is penny surfing? Well, glad you asked. Penny surfing is when you roll down a window in a car moving at a decent speed (50 mph + is recommended) down a rural or back road, and you balance a penny on your pointer finger, using the wind to hold the penny to your hand. It’s pretty fantastic.
This is a little road trip entertainment trick I learned while driving houseboats for Sonshine Ministries. It’s a vibe. Enjoy some windy, weaving-down-the-Pacific-Coast-Highway kind of tunes.
(Yes, Baba O’Riley is a reference to Joe Pera).
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My Mom Got Married!
On a beautiful Saturday afternoon in May 2022, my mom Courtney married her partner Jim McLaughlin. We are ecstatic for them. There’s no straightforward path to love and their stories certainly had some twist and turns to get to each other. They met online at the beginning of the pandemic and started spending lots of time together. We celebrated with a ceremony where they spoke about each of the guests, where their living room became the reception hall, and where we danced the night away with Spotify as our DJ. Jim redid their backyard so it would be picture perfect for the ceremony. How beautiful!
All images are by the lovely and talented Kimberly MacDonald.
photography: Kimberly MacDonald // venue: Ridge Road Retreat, Novato, CA // planning: Camille Grager // florals: Camille Grager // wedding invitations: Emma Vendetta // wedding dress: Chiara Boni La Petite Robe // groom attire: Nordstrom // rentals + catering: Just Relish // music: Emma Vendetta
6 Things I’ve Learned About Summers as a Doc Student
As a doc student, I tend to work about 70ish hours a week.
Yep.
The summer, then, is a welcome respite from the barrage of classes, teaching, organizing, writing, researching, reading that defines the other 10 months of the year.
A lot of folks, however, mistakenly interpret a doctoral student’s more flexible summer schedule as “time off.” Ha! I wish. Let me tell you. Vanderbilt does not pay me during the summer (ironically justifying this as giving me a break) and under pays me during the year (I make about $5/hour when you do the math). So, the summer is a time when my grad student friends and I all have to scramble to figure out how to eat and keep a roof over our heads without totally abandoning the study program we’ve laid out for ourselves during the summer months and without working as many hours as in the school year.
I have yet to find a great balance and this is my final in-between-years summer as I’m a rising 5th year and candidacy means I’m in the dissertation phase. This frustrating cycle that could be broken with a 12-month pay system from Vanderbilt at the rate of an actual living wage (cough cough Peabody…). But since the powers that be have resisted respectful requests for policy changes that would honor the humanity of students, it looks like this will be ongoing for incoming Vanderbilt doc students.
I thought I’d give a little run down on some of the things I’ve learned being subjected to this system. Take some or none, but here’s my experience:
1. Take a break. You need it.
You’ve been working hard all year. Too hard, probably. Don’t gaslight yourself by internalizing all those voices from professors, advisers, other students with poor boundaries, and your own drive - you are a human being and you both need and deserve some down time so that you can keep giving your best when it’s time to be on. I highly recommend taking the first two weeks after the semester ends completely off. It’s usually the last two weeks of May. Do the math for your finances and give yourself at least those two weeks.
2. Go somewhere.
If you can, go somewhere, anywhere! Whether it’s a trip home to see family, a beach vacation (if you have a partner with a steady income and can afford a trip), or simply a budget camping experience nearby, get out of your normal routine and zone. In years where we had more cash, we took a four-day trip to the beach (Florida or Tulum - our favorite). In the leaner years, we’ve found free campsites 90 minutes outside of Nashville, packed up what would be our normal groceries for a few days, and gotten out of town. A change of scenery is a great way to jumpstart your “new normal” routine for the summer.
3. Get some extra income.
During the year, it’s basically impossible (and discouraged via policy) to hold a second job that would compensate your school “income” / stipend to make it a living wage. Summer, then, becomes the ideal time to find a lucrative activity that will buy you some breathing room when you’re not getting paid and maybe even allow you to save up for a small extra fund that you can dip into throughout the year. For me, the summer is when I do the bulk of my graphic and web design work. In the past, Jackson has bartended (late nights but great tips!) and I’ve worked at summer camps. Find something that will pay you $25+ an hour, not require more than 50 hours a week, and leaves you some down time. I really recommend picking something that isn’t school-related. Save your brain energy for thinking on your own time rather than slaving away for someone else’s research project.
4. Make some goals.
Perhaps while you’re away or simply once you get home, plan out the main things you want to accomplish during your summer months. Think about how you want to feel this summer. I suggest three categories: for me, for school, for others. Pick something you want to accomplish for you (“Run 5 miles at a 6 mph pace” or “Learn to cook that one polenta dish”), something you want/need to get done for school (“Write the first chapter/paper of my dissertation”), and something you want to do for others (“Write a letter once a week” or “Volunteer three times with my community garden”). These are likely things you feel you don’t have time for during the rest of the year. You will feel both accomplished and rested at the end of the summer.
5. Create a reasonable timeline.
Once you have your goals, consider a reasonable - REASONABLE - timeline for getting those things done. Like a timeline that a normal job would expect, not one that the high pressured demands of grad school have made you think are normal. Sometimes less is more. I usually try to front load my weeks so that I can cut off Friday around 3 pm. And I don’t work more than the standard 40 during the summer.
6. Take your weekends off—actually.
As a doctoral student, you likely work on weekends, late nights, kind of all the time. I’ve found that I’m only realistically able to take my whole weekends off during the summer. This isn’t totally uncommon in the kinds of jobs you’re likely applying to after you finish your PhD, so we have to find some balance. Try scheduling one day (Friday, Saturday, or Sunday) to have absolutely nothing on the calendar - not even drinks with friends. Just let that day evolve and go with the flow. Save it for the things you want to do or feel you need to do that get piled up during the rest of the week.
I hope you are able to sleep in, read a book for fun, and ignore the imposter syndrome rants in your brain for a few sunny weeks!
xo
em
My Reading Haven
This is my safe place. It’s the most Californian-in-Tennessee thing I do. My days are split between reading and writing at this phase of my grad work and it really helps my brain to differentiate between ideas and tasks when I am in different environments for those activities. Once a week, I take my reading and memo-ing to a little spot off Percy Priest Lake. I set up my giant towel on the sand, chair in the water, and bust out my stack of papers and highlighters alongside some snacks and bevies. It’s a safe haven. Looking at the water keeps me calm. Putting my feet in the water keeps me cool. Having my papers binder clipped keeps them collected.
My beach boy is learning not to fear the water. He does better when there’s someone with him in the waves and when it’s not a cliff edge like a pool. We know he loves the beach so I’m hoping to convert him to the harsh realities of settling for a lake. We can all dream, can’t we?
Serious offer: if you’re in the Nashville area and you want to do some reading and lake hanging with me, let me know! I’d love to have a buddy.
xo
em
Tennessee Summer Treats
Jackson offered me a choice: we could either go on a date in the morning on Friday or in the evening. And no, they weren’t the same plans. And no, I couldn’t pick both because he has to save some date ideas for later, greedy girl.
I picked the morning date.
Then I picked in the morning!
Be ready at 7 he said. And wear close toed shoes.
Jackson took us to the new Frothy Monkey in East where Post East used to be (RIP but also thank you for the wine glasses and drink dispensers at that one yard sale. I’ll always remember you). They’re still working out some kinks service knowledge wise, but the food is tasty as ever.
With our quinoa bowl and oatmeal in tow, we hopped back into the car. We winded our way through the Southern countryside, passing farms and small homesteads and the occasional bait-tackle-beer-breakfast stores.
We were first to arrive at Kelly’s Berry Farm.
This tender acreage off the pike past Lebanon was bursting with berries. We arrived at the tail end of strawberry season, "so you’re really going to have to look,” the farmhand warned us. But we struck rich in blueberry season and even gathered first fruits from the thornless blackberry bushes.
We decided to pick in the order that would leave our backs stretched out properly by the end. These are the kinds of things you have to think of when you’re nearly 30 and no one warned you that joints start yelling at 26 these days. Strawberries low to the ground, hiding in the shade of the plant’s large leaves. Blackberries from knee to waist height. Blueberries raining down from above my head.
Up next: sharing all the ways we used the berries. We gathered 6 pounds of strawberries, 4 pounds of blackberries, and 10 pounds of blueberries. Yup.
We highly recommend Kelly’s Berry Farm whose products are also available at farmers markets throughout Nashville.
xo
em
Big Sur in the Summer
In August, we hopped on our first flight in the brave, new covid world. Our inspiration? Getting to meet the beautiful baby Jude.
In August, we hopped on our first flight in the brave, new covid world. Our inspiration? Getting to meet the beautiful baby Jude. My dear friend Sunee Hillyer had her first baby right before the start of quarantine and it’s been hard to watch him grow for months from a distance.
SO we made arrangements. With the Hillyers in Seattle, we thought we’d maximize our west coast time by seeing my mom in the Bay Area and eventually making it to see my Grampa (the lovely Vince) in the LA area. Since Grampa is at higher risk of contracting covid, we wanted to put 14 days between our visit to other folks and to see him, which we managed by renting a deep-cleaned car up north and driving leisurely down the coast.
THE COLORS, Y’ALL.
The curves and the textures and the sound of wind whipping through the brush and rushing up the rocks.
It was pure delight. There was a moment when the clouds manifested in the shape of waves. I mean. WHAT.
Hope this sunshine brightened your day a bit.
xo
em
Goodbye, wallpaper. Hello, paint!
When wallpaper is too expensive but you still want a pop of color and pattern in a space, painting is the way to go.