Bougie on a Budget: December

Time for the next round! I’ve maybe made a bit of a Christmas list here… jk I do own the hairdryer/straightener and it’s amazing! Santa, if you’re reading this, the wireless charging mat is at the top of the list.

SONOS SYMFONISK speaker

Mini Latte Bowls

Wireless Charging Mat

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Short UGG booties

Fee Brothers cocktail bitters set

Star Boots

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Chemex holder and filter caddy

Fabric face masks

One-Step Hairdryer and Volumizer

Bougie on a Budget: November

I’m a sucker for luxury goods on a limited budget. My friends don’t call me the Queen of Craigslist for nothing — we found our house, two couches, a guest bed, our outdoor furniture, and most of our house plants there.

So when I find a good deal, I hang on to it. And share it with you.

Here are a few of my favorite bougie-on-a-budget items of late:

100% Mulberry Silk Sleep Mask

Washable 100% Silk PJ Set

Italian Leather Crossbody

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Epicurean Pizza Paddle

Cactus Tiki Mug

Lemon/Lime Peeler for bartending

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JAPANFUSION™ Supreme Cream

Warm Neutrals Eyeshadow Palette

TN Tri Star Ice Mold

How to Meet Your Neighbors During a Pandemic

Because we bought our home in May 2020, we found ourselves facing a conundrum: how do we meet our neighbors safely? We wanted to throw a housewarming, invite our friends over, invite our neighbors to see the home they’d watched be renovated over the last two years, serve everyone beer and wine and snacks! Alas, we could not in good conscience do any of these things. SO instead I ordered these post cards from Moo (shoot me a message if you want 25% off your first order) and put them into mailboxes around our neighborhood. We’ve gotten emails and texts back and even a few neighbors who popped by to wave from the sidewalk.

[image: an illustration of the front of my house which is dark grey with a light pink door]

(I’ve cropped the bottom so it doesn’t show our personal contact info for…ya know… reasons).

We Bought A House!

[image: A photo of me, the top of a champagne bottle, my dog Potato, and Jackson, who is holding a house key, in front of our new home!]

On May 13th, we wore our masks into the escrow office and signed 1,342,678 pages with a sanitized pen. We left with a single key to our first home. We ordered burgers from Joyland and called utilities companies getting everything set up in our name. We drove to the house, unlocked the door, popped some champagne, and sat on the floor, sipping and dreaming about what we’d put on the walls, who we’d have dinner with on the porch, whether this might be where we bring children home from the hospital.

We’ve been in this process since April 8th when we put in an offer; I was dreadfully sick and in and out of the hospital for the entire month of April. Home dreams kept me powered through finals while sick. It’s a joy to be able to actually share this news!

So this is home now.

I want to be super transparent about something that I think can be unnecessarily taboo: buying a home is a financially burdensome thing to accomplish. This is particularly true for our generation (#millennials, ya know?) and when you have limited income (two doc students in one house means we’re on a budget). We absolutely could not have done this without the generosity and kindness of our family. We are grateful to have people who could support us in transitioning from rent to real estate in order to build our equity while we complete our degrees. This is a privilege and I hope to someday be in the position to help someone else who otherwise would be renting make the same move. We are so, so grateful for you, familia!

We had an awesome realtor, Adam Blevens, and an amazing loan officer (and old friend), Josh Jeans. We highly recommend them if you’re in the Nashville area and you want real people (not a distant company) who prioritize what you prioritize and help make the process as smooth and stable as possible. Thanks you two! (And congrats to Adam and his family who welcomed their second baby girl the week after we closed!)

Here are a few photos for now. We will be doing quite a bit of work in terms of painting and redesigning a few things (knocking out a wall?). so stay tuned!

[four images: first, a photo of the exterior of our house which is one-story and blue-grey; second, a photo of the kitchen with white cabinets; third, a photo of the main bedroom, with a ceiling fan, a queen size bed and two nightstands; fourth, a photo of the exterior of the back of our house, which has a porch the width of the house]

Scenes from Staying at Home

[image: a photo of my husband (R) and me (L) wearing colorful masks by Brooke Wright Designs]

[image: a moving image of me riding an elevator down with my groceries in Whole Foods]

We’ve been social distancing since March 16th and isolating since April 2nd. So for those keeping track at home (which is exactly where I hope you are), that 68 days.

SIXTY EIGHT.

We’ve subbed restaurants for take-out and happy hours for Zoom dance parties. We finished our classes online and experienced the cringey-ness of online communicating and video lags.

We have braved Whole Foods and seriously stocked up (note: I always wear a mask in public; I had just taken my mask off for this fabulous photo and was the only one on the escalator).

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[image: a photo of the back of the violin, in my hand, looking toward the piano with sheet music on it]

I’M PRACTICING CLASSICAL VIOLIN AGAIN

I want to nail this piece that came so easily to me when I was 12 and could read and play any piece of music you put in front of me. Whew, those were the days. I’m glad I didn’t continue my classical career. I didn’t want the symphony life. But I’ve missed playing. I’ve missed the feeling of letting my fingers dance across the strings almost mindlessly and then realizing I’ve finished the piece. I’m not there yet, but we’re getting closer. I’ve got the first half of this mastered again and it’s DELIGHTFUL to play!

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[image: a loaf of sourdough bread with an intricate design on the top]

JACKSON IS BAKING SOURDOUGH DAILY.

Yes, daily. He’s mastered the crumb, the rise, the crunch, the … I don’t know. Insert other sourdough words here. I am just the consumer. And a happy one at that. He recently conquered baguettes which means jamon et beurre all day long.

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[image: a photo of my dog, Potato (who is a curly haired apricot colored labradoodle) sitting on an outdoor loveseat in my backyard]

WE’RE GOING FOR A LOT OF WALKS.

This is a pretty common one, it seems. As someone who studies how people learn on the move, this has been interesting. I’ve had conversations with friends who realized they had more in walking distance from where they lived than they thought. And many who are in the opposite boat: finding out you’re in a food desert and you didn’t know before since you drive regularly is no fun. Potato is happy with all the walking, although I think he wishes he could just go to the dog park again.

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[image: a screenshot of a poem I wrote called ‘At the diner on Second Street’]

I’M WRITING POETRY AGAIN

It’s been a minute since I’ve used my writing degree for my own purposes, not for work or school. I’ve started a weekly writing date via Zoom with my friend Glenn who mostly writes YA fiction. It’s made me brave enough about my work to share it with a small handful of other poet / writer friends. I’d forgotten the thrill of getting something to read and edit, the trust you know you share with the other person, and the process of sharpening words. I want to engage in that more often coming out of quarantine.

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[image: a grid of four photos; top left is Jackson smiling with his finished haircut and a beer; top right is me holding tools for cutting his hair and making a silly face; bottom left is the back of Jackson’s head when his haircut was half finished; bottom right is the side of Jackson’s head]

JACKSON LET ME CUT HIS HAIR.

Just 40 minutes of YouTube videos on how to cut a fade, and my marriage is surprisingly still in tact and my respect for hairdressers and barbers has only increased.

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[image: a selfie I took while holding tongs and hovering over the barbecue at my house, on which there are some tomatoes and flank steaks]

WE’RE GRILLING EVERYTHING.

Our best recommendation so far is to make Bon Appetit’s tiger sauce and put it on everything you grill. It’s delicious. For my birthday (Cinco de Emma) we made fajitas at home - my favorite. Also, I haven’t worn makeup in these sixty eight days, besides Cinco de Emma.

Another update soon since we made a huge life decision on May 13th and I can’t wait to tell you about it!

7 Ways to Host A Virtual Party

We are all re-learning how to socialize in this time of social distancing, isolation, and quarantine (and no those are not three synonyms). The good news: it doesn’t mean happy hour is automatically canceled. We’ll just have to get a bit more creative. Here are 7 ideas for re-framing your upcoming/canceled social events and moving them online.

[image: a screenshot of the Netflix Party home page]

1. Host a Netflix Party

I know virtual Netflix and chill is not *quite* the same, but using this Chrome extension, you can pick a title to watch with your S.O. or a few friends. It synchronizes video playback and adds a chat feature.

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[image: a screenshot of jackbox games on an iPhone]

2. Play a Jackbox Game

With a Zoom account and a Jackbox party pack, you can invite your friends to use your room code for a shared Jackbox party as though you were sitting in the same room on your phones. Use Zoom to share your host’s screen with other players and it’s like you’re all together making insane jokes.

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3. Host a Dance Party

My friend Caroline had a brilliant idea of dancing out the stress and disappointment of canceled social plans — via Zoom with a collaborative Spotify playlist. Send your friends a link invite and a link to help build the playlist. Dress up crazy and set silly virtual Zoom backgrounds. When it’s time to hit the dance floor, you’ll want to make sure that all participants including the host are muted so you don’t get feedback and then have the host “share screen” but select only to share computer audio (that, of course, being the collaborative playlist).

Yes, this is me in a pink corduroy jumpsuit dancing wildly with a grass background.

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4. Take a Museum Tour

Smithsonian has a pretty awesome virtual world of their permanent and current floor exhibits. Check out this list for a whole bunch more museums and galleries that have made their incredible art and culture artifacts available online!

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5. Do a Cooking Class

Pick a recipe online you’ve wanted to try. Invite friends to join you virtually via FaceTime (etc.) to cook it together. Make sure you choose something that minimizes more commonly cleared-out items at the grocery store like eggs (or toilet paper? idk). Might I recommend some funky vegetables you’re not used to preparing? Or a homemade pasta dish? This is one of my all-time favorite food blogs if you need some inspiration.

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6. Workout at Home Together
There’s a little app called FitOn that is a game changer. Download it and join the same class together with your friends to follow along with your sun salutations and burpees. You can even share a sweaty selfie at the end.

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7. Share Dinner

“But how?!” you ask. Easy. Open up a food delivery app of your choosing (Postmates, DoorDash, UberEats, we could go on) and enter your friend’s address as the destination. Select a budget that you are both comfortable with spending ($15-20?) and then browse the local restaurants near your friend. Choose a meal for them from a small business in their area that you think they’d like. Pick a time to have dinner together and wait for your surprise to arrive! You get to try something new and enjoy gift giving and receiving.

I hope you get a chance to try a few of these! We’ve moved our Vanderbilt grad student happy hour for our department online in the form of a Zoom dance party. We’re going to get through this together.

xo,

em

P.S. PLEASE wash your hands PROPERLY: here is a little video showing you how.

5 Creative Ways to Live Generously

one

GIVE TO A NONPROFIT THAT INSPIRES YOU.

My favorites are ones that impact women and maintain sustainable models with equity as their goal. My go-tos for these are Tirzah International for global work and Thistle Farms for local work in Nashville.

I recommend making an end of year gift in 2019 (a bonus for your taxes!) and picking somewhere to commit as a monthly giver. Even if it’s as small as $10/month, your regular donation provides nonprofits with sustainability that allows them to thrive and often you’ll get stories, updates, and info as a regular giver that you won’t get as an annual giver! A win-win.

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two

SIGN UP TO VOLUNTEER REGULARLY.

Launch the new decade right: by carving out time to serve those in your community. For Nashville locals, check out Hands on Nashville’s volunteer opportunity calendar. You can plug in your availability and get connected based on your passions and skills to great nonprofits in the area that could use your help.

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three

WRITE A LIST OF FRIENDS TO CALL AND WRITE.

I keep a running list of friends with whom I want to keep in touch, despite distance and time. Then, when you have a free hour driving in the car or waiting for a meeting, make a call or write a quick post card. Grab yourself a stack of these or these and pre-stamp and address them then stash them in your car for quick notes!

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four

TIP BIG ONCE A MONTH.

If going out to eat is in your budget, you’ve got a golden opportunity to plan for gratitude. Make a little wiggle room for one big tip per month (instead of an appetizer, let’s say) within your budget. Then, when you’re out and about, you’ll be looking for the chance to show someone their service was above and beyond. No dice? Set aside a small amount of cash (similar to a larger tip) monthly and build up your “Emergency Gift” budget that you can give to a friend in need or a community event as needed.

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five

JOURNAL YOUR GRATITUDE

I’ve found that generosity starts with gratitude: only when we recognize what we have can we begin to give. When we live ruled by the feeling of scarcity, we are stingy and limited and uninspired. When we live out of our fullness, out of cherishing the gifts of nature, Spirit, friendship, and daily rhythm in our life, we are able to pour out blessings on others. One way to center ourselves in this attitude is to regularly journal our “thankful lists” so that we keep awareness of the level of our cup. (It goes without saying that we are sometimes in need of receiving — and it can be just as much or more of a challenge for some of us, myself included, to receive when we are in low seasons as to give).